vxxen's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I could get along with the DEVIL of I had to 4 hours and 10 job applications later and I'm STILL not tired. Lol. This evening was strictly state jobs. SOMEBODY is gonna hire ME, shit! I'm a Fucken hard-ass worker and shit. I'm full of energy tonight cuz I took a 3 hour nap when I got home from work today. Ok, so I stopped thinking about the ACTUAL act of suicide, but today I caught myself thinking, while my boss was in my way while I was making drinks, that if she's in my way ONE More fucken time, I'm gonna off myself just for this. But, it wasnt very funny (since I was so close to doing it) I almost NEVER thought about suicide like I've been doing. Like, really?! This is ridiculous. THEN after THAT thought, I looked at my co-worker Jon (my FAVORITE supervisor. He's black and I love that guy! Not like love, love. But, love like he sees me in a shitty mood and he cheers Me up and switches jobs with me even tho he hates making drinks. THAT kinda love. He calls Me his home girl. And I take that as an honor. It makes me happy) and thought if I died, would he come to my funeral. I dismissed the idea. I know he would. And he would miss me :/ this shit is getting on my fucken nerves. I think it's just living in this house. I'm the black sheep. I'll be fine as soon as I get a good job, get GOOD money and bounce. Or get accepted into the academy in the fall. But, you know what's gonna be funny? I'm the ONLY one in the house that fixes things. Tv, roku, DVR, computers, computer programs, clean bathrooms REALLY well. (Like see your blackheads on your FACE well (lol) phones, find missing things for everybody..... and when I'm gone, who's gonna do that? They say I don't appreciate them. Well, I'm SURE the same will go for them. Mom said she'll factime me whenever she has a problem (which I'd pretty darn funny since I have an ANDROID LOL That'll be fun. LOL I'm not bitter towards my family (Even tho it prob sounds like that) I just think sometimes I get the short end of the stick. And get underappreciated Just like at work. (I.E. being overlooked for a supervisor position because I don't kiss ass, i tell it like it is, and DONT get pushed around by employees who think they know everything and are bullies (Delilah) hate that bitch. A shame she's Puerto Rican. Fucken whore bag. ANYHOO, (lol) (my boss said that's why I didn't get it cuz I 'dONt get along with ppl' if I COULD say, 'Yeah, ok. Eat a dick, Jackie' and NOT get fired, I'd say it.
12:46 a.m. - February 27, 2016 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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