vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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This is it. Done. Forever... Is the pain gone yet?

http://youtu.be/u9Dg-g7t2l4 THIS song has been playing on my Spotify, phone and in my head for the last 30 hours. It's the last song I watched/heard him song while he explained to me why he loved that song (which I don't remember) buy I remember his passion for it.
I'm no longer friends with Steve. And it kills me. I know it's for my own good. Cuz my hood side is like, 'Ey, yo! You gotta knock this nigga out now. Fuck wrong with YOU?!'
So, I've been listening to this song and an now 'grieving' if I don't 'grieve' for the loss of this friendship, I will forgive him and continue to be friends with him.
And it may not seem important to you or it sounds pathetic (and maybe it is) but, I haven't felt feelings for anybody or experienced ANY type of expression for somebody since George. And we broke up 2011-2012. And I loved him too. I loved Stephen. And still do have some feelings for him. I wish I never did.
So, I've been trying to make myself cry and vent to his BFF for the last 24 hours. And idgaf if I bother the shit outta her. She's 50% to blame in this. (But really, probably, maybe, idk. But it's my reasoning and I say she is)
I need to purge/ expel him from my psyche. Mentally, emotionally and physically. Cuz I got shit to do and I can't wait my time on bitch ass Niggas who are afraid is a women's feelings. Go Fuck yourself. You pudgy bastard.

12:49 a.m. - February 16, 2016

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