vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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If only he still lived here...

I had a really good time last. night. I went out with Mac and got buzzed/drunk I had 3 cosmos and was slurring lol but i was like aw shit im slurring, fuck it. we played pool and danced a little. it was so funny. then richie came to get me from outside of my house. Mac was waiting with me. it was pretty cool. I got in Richie's car and we were talking about our lives and how it changed. lol we stopped at CVS to get protection and it felt like i was in his car for 80 hours. then we get to his house and im maaad wobbly. which is no surprise cuz I'm wobbly sober lol

I could really see myself with Richie. I know I shouldnt but I was in love with him in high school. he's so hot. He plays in a band down in FL. all night, I called him a rockstar lol he liked that. lol he got long hair now so as soon as i was able, i took the rubber band out of it and started messing it up and he got all mad cuz he knew it would get in the way of us fooling around. i didnt care. i do what i want.
we fooled around and after we were chilling and talking. he's a big baby, tho He said,"Let's go so I can have a cigarette." "I'm not ready yet. I got 5 more minutes." "Ok, fine then we're leaving." "Yeah, yeah sit down and shut up." haha. So, then I started up again. "So when's your birthday again?" "September." "10th?" "11th." "Eh, same thing." "Do you speak Porteguese?" "No." "Spanish?" "Yes." "Same thing." "Fuck you, RIchie." "We already did." "Was that what you called it?" "I didnt hear any complaints." "Thats cuz I didnt want to hurt your feelings." "Oh, shut up." "Make me." "Shut up and give me your hand." Ok. I will admit that caught me off guard. Then he was like, "Who was that guy waiting with you on the bench? was that your boyfriend? You didnt tell me you had a boyfriend." "No,Richie that is not my boyfriend that's my friend Mac." "I don't care who he is. If you were my girl, you would not be waiting on no bench with another dude." That got me excited so i jumped up from where i was laying next to him on the opposite side of the couch where my feet was on his leg. And sat in his lap. He got mad cuz i was gettin him excited. But before that He was rubbing my feet and i thought, "If he still lived on SI, this nigga would be aaaalll mine. He would never had a chance." He started getting antsy cuz he couldnt smoke in the house but i didnt give a shit. Every other sentence I tried to entice him. He'd be like, "Ahh, stop. I just put my clothes on." "So?" "So... ah, come on stop. I'm gonna get excited again." "and is that such a bad thing?" lol I'm such a minx i love it lol Then he asked me, "When's the last time you had sex?" "Over a year ago." "A year ago!? Jesus, VxXen! Why not? You're a beautiful girl, you wouldnt have a problem gettin a guy." "Bad break-up." "I'm sorry to hear that." "It's ok. What about you? Why did you guys break-up?" "She was a crazy, psycho bitch." "why do you always pick the crazy bitches? Why?" He looked at me. all upset.,"Cuz we would only have sex once every 3 months." "DAY-UM! (Got that one from phaythles! lol) If I was with you, I'd want sex from you every night." He didnt say anything. He just looked at me and looked away to the television. I was and still am totally in love with this kid, and he doesnt even know. He even gave me a hug to tell me that he missed me and that it was really good to see me. and he told me that when he dropped me off to.

**This is gonna sound very expletive and you're lucky that I'm using the correct terms. but i dont care, its my diary lol**

I have a scar on my left breast where they did the biopsy to see if i had cancer or not. He looked at it, but asked me about it after. He said, "That scar on your breast?? Thats new?" "Yeah. They wanted to see if I had cancer or not." "Did you?" "No." "Thats good you're alive." Ha! His...way with words and shit. is only part of the charm, trust me lol He then said that I was the best person that ever gave him fellatio. (and he said some shit like, 'I'm gonna miss that. and then *I* said like, 'Well, it's too bad I can't do that shit over the phone' lol "he laughed and said, 'Yeah, you'd be the best then.') and the only one where he climaxed from it. He said that I was spoiling him. because he wanted to please me too, but i was aggressive and wanted to do it. He wanted it more than i did. I really don't miss sex. But if i'm in a relationship or something, id want it all the time. but im not gonna go out looking for it or whatever. thats just me. He leaves Sunday night, tho. I'm gonna miss him. He said that he's gonna visit again and come see me. That made me smile. then that's when he gave me a hug and a kiss. and held the hug longer than supposed to be. He even rubbed my back... does that mean anything or did I....fall??

It was all love on my side, and all good comradeship and friendship on hers. When we parted she was a free woman, but I could never again be a free man.
-Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventure of Abbey Grange

Look how i went out . im sexy lol

1:32 p.m. - May 08, 2009

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