vxxen's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Knighted myself \"Kit\" sometimes i think i write better when im using paper. my feelings and thoughts flow much more freely. and i feel much better than not writing, you know? i know that sounds weird or something but sometimes i feel like i dont really have much to contribute. i mean for example whenever we sit down to eat we all usually have something to say. my dad and his work, my sister and her friends, school and work. my mother with her school and work and me...nothing. what have i to say? what have i to talk about? what could i possible say that would have anybody's attention long enough for me to 'dazzle' them? i know since i got hurt and havent been to work in a while that thats the reason why i have nothing to talk about. and i know thats what the reason is and i know that this will all blow over and ill be with my friends and co-workers soon. i NEED to get better by jan. im startin to work out my ankle and to lose a little weight too. to make the process a little smoother. cuz i heard some shit about how 1 pound lost takes 4 pounds of pressure off of your knee. some tylenol ad shit i read when i was in the subway mad long ago. but just cuz i dont have nothing interesting to say, doesnt make me a boring person. i try to take the weight off of my familys shoulders. i give money to them, to thank them for taking care of me. i cook and clean and help mom with her typing and whatever else she needs my sister too. my dad also. i have netflix so i get him whatever movie he wants. i guess im tryin not to be a burden but know matter how much i try to stay on top of things (i.e cooking, cleaning, docs and lawyers) it seems that i cant cover/fix everything. and THAT is what bothers me. im a strong chick. i see a problem no matter what it is, i think of a solution and do whatever i need to get it done. i shoulda been in the army or some spec ops shit. cuz my mom asked me to do a favor for her last night after we got our hair done.... theres some really shady shit startin to happen in/around my hood. it never was like that before, well it was bad, bad on a scale from 1 to 10 it was like a 4. but its gotten a little worse. but anyway, we goin in the cul-de-sac, where we live and theres this big truck parked in the very beginning, like he makin a get-a-way right quick. we seein this "dude" walking towards the car, passin us. my mother wants to know whats going on. so before she pulls up to our house shes like,"VxXen, go watch whats going on. Go tell me what he does. Go, but dont get caught." "Aight, mom." i open the car down, slink out and barely close the door, so it doesnt make any noise. i go around moms car low, and hug the side of my neighbors house (the siding) and duck behind the bushes at the corner of the next house (we live in a development so everything is tight-packed) and look down the "block" and i see some shit happenin. like some "walking-up-to-the-window-and-walk-away-while-the-nigga-pullin-away" type shit." i saw that slipped out. my sis almost ruined it. when i popped out from where i was, she was like, "where were u i was looking for you." i go,"I know." and winked at her. lol i thought that was cool. so after rethinking the whole "am i interesting/burden" thing, and thinkin about what happened last night and how i am a part of this family and im a part of a beam in the foundation thats us. im important. in my own cartoon watchin, Twilight reading geeky puerto rican ass lol oh, and i think writing and typing is all really the same. i know that now. Random Conversation of the day "Vxxen, pass me the water, please?" lol priceless. after that 'field trip' i knighted myself Kit.. to her "Knight Rider" lol (i mean the old school one with david hasselhoff! now thats the REAL knight rider, fuck what u heard.! 12:29 a.m. - November 10, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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