vxxen's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My Poor Mother

im really starting to worry about my mother. She has a lot of stress in her life and it is breakin my heart. i knw shes trying to do her best but sometimes life pushes harder. (shit, fucken drugs kicked in gotta make this quick then) i know between school and me and taking care of the bills and especially my father, oh god my father hes a handful times infinity. between his ...disease and him internalizing every damn thing, he doesnt no how to adapt to life. i love my father dearly, but what he is doing to my mother is breaking my heart. my mom is the heart of this family, she stops beating, we die. and i try my BEST to help her in everything i do. I cook, i clean i do her rep work, i type whatver need to be typed. i know im not working now but when i get some money im gonna give it all to her. my mom has been forgetting a lot of things lately and when she gets angry i get upset and nervous. IF i have to kick someone in the face for my mother to stay sane and happy i would do it. i couldnt do it very high (lol) but id kick something. I love my mother very, very much. she has done a lot of things for me. she hasnt given up on me even when she should have. even when i should have. im gonna clean the whole house tomorrow (of what i can) so mom wont have to do a lot on sat cuz of my physical therapy. i gotta talk to my father about this. hes gonna be mad but at this point i dont care. i just cant wait to go back to work so i can take off some of the weight that my fat ass put there lol

ps i lost some weight buy cutting down my portions and eating 3x a day only and eating nutrition bars (which rock by the way!) lol