vxxen's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Merry Christmas! i know that its christmas and all that and a happy time, but right this second, i feel melancholy. im happy for that fact that mom doesnt feel depressed on christmas b/c of her mom passing 9 years ago. (and i KNOW shes happy that i bought her her juicer she always wanted!) she even told me that all the gifts i bought everybody was very thoughtful. :) that made my day! i was a little let down for christmas, but i am happy for the fact that i am with my family and that i dont have to work lol but everything comes with its prices. besides i can buy my own shit! lol but for the most part, im ok. its just that i miss doing a lot of things that i cant do now that im hurt. i cant stand up for long periods of time without gettin back spasms. i get nightmares from the pain meds. my mom thinks its because that she thinks that i still watch Forensic Files. ( uh, did that make sense?) i dont watch crazy/scary ass shit no more before i go to bed. i watch cartoons and funny shit. but when u get nightmares about being covered in blood and everything around you is covered in blood and ur running away from something that u know is bad, but cant see and are runnin with someone u know but dont reconize...is some scary ass shit. i woke up sweaty and heavy breathing and shit. and it was 11am christmas! shit. but i really wanna get better, i mean seriously. enough is enough. i feel like my brain is not being used but i kinda think it is. im figuring out stuff to rip dvds im working on a second language now..... i just worry a bit about the disability checks coming in on time to pay my school loans off. but im not going to worry about that cuz ill worry to death. ok, i feel better now. dam, those pain meds et u quick. im sleepy. note to self type shit out BEFORE meds kick in..cant type ...fo' shit! LMAO ps merry christmas every body! o yeah, remind me to type out the poem i made for my sister as part of her gift. she read it out loud and my moms was rolling lol
1:11 a.m. - December 26, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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