vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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Sooo..should i find him on myspace??

as of right now, i do not have something to worry about. but my mind is always on edge like i forgot to worry about something. thats why i have been writing things down. i leave a notebook in the living room so when i remember something i write it down. im debating whether or not to get in contact with this kid a the bonfire i went to on sat. it was pretty cool. a lot of ppl went. his name o crap i really dont wanna give his name away so ill call him the 'director' lol he went to film school. so anyway i met the director a few months back and he was really cool to talk to. he has a nice personality, hes quiet, polite, respectful, and i can hold a conversation with him. even if it was just cartoons and movies lol. (sometimes) before he left he asked if i had myspace. i said yeah and he was all happy and shit lol it was cute. but.. do i send him a message? do i make the first move? im thinking yes and no. no cuz if he really liked me he would know where to find me. i told him i was on my friend's page. so its not like im hard to find. im the only black chick on my friends page! so its not like im that hard to find. lol o well. its not important. if it happens it happens. oh, so anyway one of macs friends (KB) crap. i gotta tell you the history of this nigga...its not a pretty sight....

ok so back when i hung out with nicole and christina (who were my best friends but i was closer to nicole than her) they met a guy (if u wanna call him that) named KB he a shit load of friends that were really cool. it was him, Mac, sean, mikey, bunn, and sondro (that nigga is FUCKEN CRAZY!!!! i never liked him) they all smoked weed and shit. which didnt bother me cuz that nigga had a XBOX and a cute guy that i was interested in (Mac) so i was happy as a clam..... Nicole had the hots for him and i knew that chris had the hots for him too. i had this weird ass feeling that something was gonna go down. KB was originally nicoles 'boyfriend' but that girl is soooo needy and annoying its not even funny. then christina slept with him but she didnt tell me that until a months after it happened. so THEN christina brings around talia. she a grimy little bitch. i didnt like her from the get-go cuz ths bitch didnt like me. fuck her anyway. shit gets ugly. nicole is scratching around to keep him and shit. then christina sleeps with him some more. THEN talia steals him from every fucken body. meanwhile, back at the batcave, I am all by myself happy with mac and my little situation lol everybody liked me better cuz i didnt give a fuck, i didnt like KB, and i had jokes and shit. chris and nic wanted to fight her. i was talking shit and egging them on ( not dangerously but enough to say that it wasnt right. and to keep my ass off the fire) cuz i didnt like the situation from the get-go. i toooolllddddd everyone that that nigga was using them but nobody wanted to listen to me cuz they thought i wanted that little shit. lol fuck that. so anyway chris and nic are mad that talia stole their man , yada, yada yada. and what pissed me the fuck off was that hey wanted ME to fight her! what the fuck?! just cuz i got some sense, a smart mouth, guts, and can fight, you think im gonna fight your pussy-ass battles?? kiss my ass. so at that time, everybody was battling everybody. nic, chris, vs KB, talia and his friends. i didnt give a shit. i was still with mac and i still liked his friends. end of history lesson.

so KB comes strolling in the backyard with guess who? talia. i dont say shit to her, she dont say shit to me. just the way i like it. im a little nervous, but i dont say or do shit. KB walks over to me, and i kiss him on the cheek and he says, "Kamile, how are you doing?" "Im doing good, KB. How are you?" (im the shit) and everybody sits down around the fire. a few moments later, KB says,"so, Kamile? you still talk to christina and nicole?" "Yeah, right." he laughs. he thinks screwing over those girls makes him a man. i pity him. everything went ok. i wanted beers so i went to the store to get some. i bought a six pack and shared with nobody lol except bunn, and mac. it was bunns birthday. and i like them both. and then when everybody left it was just bunn, mac, and me. shooting the breeze. we talked about everything. boyfriends, girlfriends, loved ones dying, trials and tribulations. all that good stuff. and mac sat there listening to everything and every once and a while having a say. then bunn said..
"Hey, Kamile? i always wanted to know why you were friends with Nicole and Christina? You're smart and cool? why were you friends with them?
"Well... you cant pick your friends, but eventually i had to get out. i couldnt be they're friends anymore."

well, im exhausted. my back hurts and i dont feel well. i better get to bed.....damn mac. i better not get feelings for him again. i think i am. damnit

11:59 p.m. - December 02, 2008

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