vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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MY PRESIDENT IS BLACK, MY LAMBO'S BLUE!!!

son of a bitch. i went out to dinner with mac and had 2 glasses of sangria (Bad idea) and we were there for about 1- 1 1/2 hours. i had fun talking to him but by my 1st one i was asking personal questions. i wanted to know if i was the only one thinking about a past lover. mac says he thinks about selena all the time. and i felt bad for him. mac is a pretty decent guy. but i was also thinking that i dont want to be like that. always thinking about carlos. so i was kinda proud/happy that i dont think about carlos like that. i maybe think about him every other day. maybe 2 days. i mean the shit still hurts and i imagine that it's gonna smart for a while but you know what? whatever doesnt bring me to my knees will make me stand ( i heard that somewhere lol) but i digress. hes taking me home, and we're sitting in the car waiting for the car to warm up (the same way he tried to heat his hamburger, remember Puzzed? lol that shit was funnier than a mother lol) and hes driving in the parking lot and while he's driving, hes looking at me and im like, "what?" "im thinking about kissin you."

"Oh yeah? cuz i was thinking about how i wanted to kiss you at dinner."
then the little white boy, looks toward the road and im thinking that thats it..i was wrong. he turns off the little road that takes you to the main street to go home and he's like," Aw i dont know where to get off." "Oh, come mac! you know the white side of the island. you know what ur doing." he pulls into a parking lot spot aw,boy here it goes. he unbuckles his seatbelt and sits next to me (he had to sit on the arm rest thingie. his neighbor let him borrow his miny-van cuz his rav-4 got sideswiped while it was parked and the little fucker just kept going. son of a bitch) and he did this so fast i was like well damn. lol and he kissed me. .....

......

and all these feelings were going through me so fast. anxiety, hesitation, memories (of me and mac back in the day) and then i was like fuck it. i miss kissing him. so i kissed him and stuff lol i didnt go to far like 4th base. i went to 2nd and 3rd. im talking about old-school bases. i dont know what the fuck these 'young'uns' call it (LMAO. yeah i said it, goldgirl and puzzed u gotta give me the new-school terms! lol) so all i know is that we were in the car and my father called cuz he was all nervous and shit and in my head im like, jJeex, dad leave me the hell alone." i was like ok dad ill be home soon, ok?"

Click.

i went right back to kissing him lol the windows kinda fogged up no, i didnt sleep with him. i told him that we needed to get going. so then we get back on the road and hes looking at me and i turned to him and said, "Negro, why are you looking at me like that?" he mumbled something that i forgot and pulled over!!! in the middle of the freakin' road! and started to kiss me...AGAIN i said. "Mac, ur crazy u cant park this shit in a bus lane! are u crazy?!" he didnt give a fuck. he parked in near a bank with the light ONU US! i said, "Mac...come on man. so he parked behind the church!! ARE YOU KIDDING?! (it was all in the same parking lot. they all share it) i was like. well ..fuck it lol by this time hes already kissing me. and then.. he kisses me on the forehead.

Aw, shit now why did he have to fuck around and do that shit?! carlos used to kiss me on my forehead. then he used to kiss my eyes. it was our thing. so when mac kissed me on the forehead it took me outta my neutral zone for a minute. but i bounced back but not a hundred percent there. you know? so we make out for a little bit then he drives me home. (for real this time lol) moms comes home after coming from DC and seeing obama, thn im watching obama get sworn in (cuz i taped it for them) then i watch tv yada yada yada..

THEN
i fuck around and text carlos. he texted me that hes sleeping now. he called me and told me that he just came from davids house (a co0worker from world yacht) hes lying. he was at dinorahs house thewoman i think hes messing around with and thats fucked up cuz i was real close with her. but thats another story for another time. he called me and eventualy we were talking dirty an shit happened, (duh) i said (stupid me) that i wanted him to come see me. he asked me the bus number that goes by my house fuck i didnt think he was gonna ask me that. shit. i told him that he doesnt really have to come. he said somethig a bout not having any money, i breathed a sign of relief. then told him that i had to go to sleep. i hung up and thought uhh. im such an asshole...

is there ANY hope for me at all??

ps just yesterday mom mentioned him and said that hes not what he appears to be and dont trust him and all this shit. every time she mentions him. shit happens. oh yeah i had a dream about mac ad his ex gf. she was tryin to play me and i was not havin it AT ALL. she tried to belittle him in front of his friends about him not gettin it up and everybody was shockd and laughin at him and i came outta NOWHERE and said ,"Well, *I* never had that problem." then i gave her the famous black neck roll then woke up lmao weird. g2g now its 1:22 am im maaad beat night

my president is black, my lambo's blue and ill be damned if my rims aint too!!!

9:16 p.m. - January 20, 2009

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