vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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There's always a 3rd choice....

So.....((sighs))).

me and Jason are back together with conditions. that he's gotta go back to school and he's gotta fix the sex
he's saving up his money for school and he got viagra. the doctor told him that if we plan to have sex that he doesn't take the anxiety medicine and take the viagra 20-40 mins before sex. Cool

he takes both

it 'semi' works (pun intended)

we hang out again and he DOESNT take the viagra BUT TAKES his anxiety medicine. So, now im in a mood and shit. cuz this shit is getting old. but I feel bad because he's explaining his situation to me sayin that he's REALLY afraid of gettin panic attacks and hes starts crying and telling me that I must be disappointed in him and he doesn't want me to leave cuz he loves me.what could I do but reassure him and comfort him and rub his back and hug him.

((sighs))

Sometimes, I wish things were different. Im really not the type of person to wish shit or dream cuz wishes and dreams are for children and not warriors. But, I do .

I wish I had Jason in someone else's body, I wish he would hav sought help years ago, I wish he had better parents for not abandoning him and sometimes I wish I didn't love him so much or miss him when we're not together. but eh, what are ya gonna do. Such is life. love it or leave it.

I guess the same thing goes for us.

Love it or leave it.....

how about another choice?

Work on it and I think thats what im gonna do

9:03 p.m. - August 10, 2020

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