vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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having those feelings of bouncing' again :(

so, I have trouble accepting intimacy (whomp, whomp) especially from men who like me and give it freely and wonderfully. like Jason. a sweetheart of a thing. I'm gonna try harder and fight these feelings that want me to run. it sucks . but I'm gonna do right by him. he's incredibly patient and kind with him its so sweet and endearing and most of the time off putting lol but thats not his fault. its totally mine. without a doubt. *shrugs* fuck it.

I think because I see feelings as weakness . especially intimacy. but, why did I want it with Steve? crave it even? even though he gave me non of it? I'm fucken. . . *sighs* its not that I DONT not like intimacy with Jason. I do. the hugs and the cuddling and shit I love but. . idk I'm fucken weird. ignore me

2:16 a.m. - September 17, 2017

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