vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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I know I'll never get my father back 😞

So, I started my seedlings. I don't think I did them right :'( I hope they come out. Butt, as that Dr. From Jurassic Park said, 'Life will find a way.' So, I'm not gonna worry I had a date with my father the other day. Worst time I have ever had in my life. He didn't talk to me, there was no conversation, and when I tried to engage him in one, I was shot down. I'm so upset. I've never had a bad date with my father. He's angrier than usual. He had a short fuse, and is meaner. I almost flipped out on him because he called my mother stupid. I was livid. I told him off, while being respectful, then I went upstairs to relax. That's how he gets when he drinks. He goes through withdrawal when he doesn't have alcohol. (And he didn't wanna go to therapy because I know he doesn't believe :/ that) He gets moody and withdrawn. usually, I handle him. I work my way around his grumpiness and we have a nice time. But, lately.....idk. I'm starting to give up. I don't wanna spend time with him, I don't wanna talk to him, I don't call him when I'm going somewhere. I don't care. and when I don't care, good luck trying to bring me back from that. It's sad, really. You're 60 something years old and you KNOW your family is falling apart but you just don't care. At all. The house needs a little upkeep like a touch-up on painting and things needing to be fixed. So, I took it upon myself to fix done things around the house. I'm pretty handy. I know my way around tools and what they're called. My father taught me 😢

4:24 a.m. - March 16, 2016

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