vxxen's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Screw you, Gregg (with wackass 2 g's!) I FUCKEN did it again! i really, really like someone who does not want a relationship and/or does not want me. and i HATE it! i should be celibate. but i like sex too much. lol which btw, his sex is great. (i know, i know i fucked up for doing that and at that time i didnt care. nor did the sangria i had...not did my libido.) but my head is beating myself up and my heart is creaming in frustration. he's funny, a smartass, has a job, a noisy ass truck which is off-road. he likes to fish, has brothers and sisters, 5-foot something. (he's short as fuck. i'm 5'5 and he's a little shorter than me. my mom always said that short guys are the toughest.) Norweign (sp) he's not a punkass little boy, he's 30. he remembered me from high school. when we were talking on-line i didnt remember him, he gained a little bit (ok kinda a lot but not fat. like chunky muscle lol) and when we went out to Friday's he walked up behind me and was like, 'Hey.' and THEN my smartass mouth (without a filter? was like ,"Oh, shit. I remember you now! i didnt like you in high school!" he just looked at me and was a little bit shocked but he kept it moving and was like, 'Oh, so NOW you remember me!" and i was like, "yeah. you used to play handball all the time during lunch and during classes.and you dated that black chick.' His face was a blend between an 'Oh, shit' look and a "da fuck she remember that?!" look. haha that was awesome. he was a little aloof tho. he was making jokes in front of the bartender (female) about me not paying the bill and that he has a set of handcuffs (he's loss prevention in some store) that he carries on him and that he could handcuff me. . . My. Face. Was RED! i was soo mortified. i was like, 'Let's go." i should have left right there. but we were clicking. and verbalizing (is that a word?) back and forth. friendly banter. sooooo, (and here comes the shit with the fan) long story short, he was complaining too much about the traffic and yada, yada people-can't-drive yada yada. that i just took my seatbelt off and leaned over and kissed him. 2 words. TONGUE RIIING! i was like, 'well, haaay!" haha and then i sat back and put my seat belt back on. and he was like, "Wow. i was NOT expecting that." and then i was like, "No, you were not." lmao Soooo, remember when i told you that that it was about to it the fan?? Welllll, long story short, we got a summons for trespassing on private property. . . Think about that for a second? So, now i have to go to court in August. (which im a little nervous for cuz the last time i got a summons, i couldnt sleep for months and i got lucky with the judge.) im not too worried about it cuz i spoke to my cop friend and he was like, "you're an idoit. plead ignorance.' and i was like ," Ok.... Wait, what?" lmao im ok with it. im just really Really upset that he doesnt want a relationship (well, can you blame him?! if *I* slept with me, i wouldnt want a relationship either!. . Well, thats not entirely true. i'm awesome. i'd want to hang out with me all the time!) haha so, NOW that i actually LIKE this one. a long time since after george, i gotta let him go. delete everything about him. texts, pics, memories, great sex, (GRR!) and all that shit. cuz i promised myself that after george, i will NOT be going thru that shit again! EVER! i'd rather be alone and miserable than be kinda NOT someone AND be miserable.... but. im tired of being lonely. :( it sucks. i just want someone to hang out with whom i find attractive/sexy and funny as fuck! WHYYYYY?! eh, watever. i should be worried about school than being lonely/ being on the look-out for boys . this still whomps tho. ok. im done with my little 3-hour pity party. Time to cleanse.
12:51 a.m. - May 02, 2013 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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