vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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a whooole bunch of shit rolled into one

i told him that i am in love with him. he didnt freak out. he didnt do anything bad. he handled it sooo well. he said, ' and i have strong feelings for you too. i like the way we can act ourselves around each other." that was before i spent almost the night with him and i asked us what we were. i had to fight the answer out of him and eventually he told me that i'm his boo. i wasnt to fond of that answer and i got really upset. i cried a little. in the bathroom lol and i didnt talk to him for a while. i cant drink. i get upset after i get happy. lol but he's the sweetest guy tho. i told him that i cant talk to him anymore. and he asked me why and i told him cuz i'm in love with him. and the next day he texted me that he has strong feelings for me. i told him that my intention was not to make him uncomfortable. he said, 'i know it wasnt boo' "So, now what do we do?" "idk. you like me and i like you." " Can we just start over? like nothing happened?" "If you feel the need to" then i told him that if i could talk to other guys, or something like that. then he said ' i just said that if you want to go ahead." "do you want to? cuz i dont want to." " I don't want to." "You're the only that i want and sleeping with" "Same here." "Uh, i kinda deleted you from facebook." "Again?" "LOL yeah." then i mentioned something about him giving good head. and he said "you liked it" i was like yeah. "But next time, tease me. play with me a little." he didnt text back. but i know he read it lol then i told him that the reason i wasn't lubricated was because i'm taking every duty asthma medicine. and thats the reason. he said it was cool. and then wanted to know which one it was. i told him that i didnt know that i just bought one cuz i didnt wanna spend too much time in the isle. lol which is a lie cuz at that point u dont really care. when u hit a certain age, u dont care lol . it started to rain, then he said "wow yea it's nasty out boo." he's a sweetheart. then i said, ' well, you know sugar melts in the rain.' then he goes, 'ha. well then someone going to need to eat you up." lmao i love that kid lol hahaha that kid rocks my socks. but the bad thing is, i had a dream abut letting go of george. that it wasnt going to go anywhere and that i was wasting my time. and for a time, i really did believe that. but now i have a little bit of hope. even linda told me to not see him like that anymore. kandis told me straight out to not see him anymore either. i was so upset. she saw me cry and shit. i'm going to the shore for a day and i wish george could be there but he's got a test and stuff for next week and has to study. and i have a feeling when he's going to do something and i'm gonna be pissed. one more wrong thing that gets me upset, im gone. i really like this damn kid. fuck! i cant wait to the day that i'm his gf. (when we were in the room that night, he wouldnt give me an answer. just said that i'm his boo. but after 7 months...? come on man. i'm used to being a boo for about a month *THEN* gf status right off the bat! fuck that) but i'll give him to the end of the summer. i got friends now if he doesnt man up by the end of the summer, i'm gone. and if he changes his mind to keep me, i'm double gone. cuz then that's just blatant disrespect. and that will piss me off even more. >-< so, for now, i'll leave him deleted so i can say what i want about him lol damnit! . . i love that kidd!

10:54 p.m. - June 09, 2011

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