vxxen's Diaryland Diary

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Totall Freakin out over here...!

i had a bad day...the lawyer that i hired to take care of my situation, called me up to tell me that basically he and his investigator cant find the thing the need to find the niggas name on it. he called me to ask me if i knew anyone that might know. like my bos....um, yeah if im taking legal action against his bosses' job do u really think ppl aint gonna find out. i dont want bitches to know, i was stressing about it all day. who should i ask? should i tell drea? and if so can i ask her to do that for me? do i ask sammy? cadet? i swear i almost had a heart attack... my dad said that its not your job to do that and that thats why we hired the lawyers so they can find out and all that good shit. he is right. im flipping out over nothing. but im still nervous about it. i have to pay outta pocket to pay for the investigators that were put to work because of me. i dont have that type of money right now. 200 a week barely covers my schooll loans and my cell phone bill! what the freak, man!? i have to keep thinking about what drea said. "You're not starving, you're not homeless. dont worry about it and just get better." shes right but you,know? i still worry. i wanna go out for New Years's Day. one of my friends invited me out. i haven spoken to him in depth for a hot minute. his name is Rob hes really cool. cute. we used to work at shop-rite together. hes a quiet gangsta. (Dont worry Whystinger..hes a cute Italian! LMAO) but my mother is SOOOOO nervous about me going out and getting hurt and something bad happening to me. i almost never get to go out. the only time i go out is with mac. but i only see that motherfuckr once a month. that bites. i just need to calm down, take my pain meds, go to bed and watch my justice league on my ipod and go to sleep. i cant find my social security card!!!! i need it tomorrow to apply for Medicaid or medicare i dont know which one it is. because im being taken off payroll the 8th and after that can no longer refill my prescriptions. i refilled what i could and that is it. i just gotta hold on. "its always darkest before the dawn." ~HArvey Dent lol i watch waaaayyy to much stuff lol ok. i feel a litle better. you know what? and even if i dont go out tomorrow, ill be ok. its not the end of the world, you know? lol :)

If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience.
-Edward Rickenbacker

12:46 a.m. - December 31, 2008

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