vxxen's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- blah my punk ass still thinks about carlos. i hate it! i cant listen to men speak fast spanish, i cant watch boxing, i cant listen to bachata(cant say im missin anything lmao) but shit! everytime i happen to mosey on to any one of those fucken shits. and i get a pang right in the gut. its like a cant breathe for a few seconds. and then the tear ducts try to betray me 9 out of 10 times i win. i hate it! i know they say that time heals all wounds. well shit i been with the nigga for a year. and its been 5 months since i saw/hear from him. and im glad. i mean i took the few pictures i had of him and put them under my drawer. i didnt have the heart to tear them up, burn them and scatter the ashes to the wind. and all this unhappiness that i have for this situation is doing me jack squat! he over in fucken queens......................................... u know, i just realized something that nigga really is in queens, scratchin around tryin to survive. no friends. family...doesnt exist. i mean i dont feel sorry for him because he reaps what he sows. i dont know maybe in talking out of my ass. i was trying to make a point and im really, really trying to find it. i need to stop thinking about him. no i HAVE to stop thinking about him. maybe im being too hard on myself. im giving him too much power. i think that it could be ok to think about him when it reminds me of him. think and move on. im better than him i can and WILL beat him . he aint losing sleep over me, and i sure as hell aint losing sleep over dat nigga. fuck it 1:24 a.m. - November 16, 2008 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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